Kumpulan Fakta Chuck Norris

suka film action?

suka film bertema perang ? ada tembak2an? ledakan? trus berantem2nya?

nah sama dong, gue juga demen yang beginian, film action adalah film terfavorit gue setelah film jav, dan 3gp indonesia

kali ini gue pengen ngomongin soal legenda film action barat, Chuck Norris

dia ini terkenal melalui aksinya dalam film Missing in Action, Walker Texas Ranger, serta Enter The Dragon dimana dia berhadapan dengan Bruce Lee. denger2 sekarang dia lagi syuting film terbarunya The Expendables 2, bakal maen sama Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steven Seagal, Jason Statham, Jet Li, dan bintang2 film action terkenal lainnya. slurp. splendid abis..

ini nih penampakan orangnya..

pengen punya jenggot kayak gitu deh.. @_@

selain terkenal dengan aksi roundhouse kick (tendangan muter) nya di film2, dia juga dikenal melalui sekumpulan fakta, bukan fakta serius tentang kehidupannya, tapi jokes yang dibikin orang2 sana tentang dia..

and here they are.. (rata2 dalam bahasa inggris, yang menurut gue lucu bakal gue translate)

1. Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris. 

2. Some people wear superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

3. Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him. (Chuck Norris tidak akan pernah terkena serangan jantung, karena jantungnya tidak cukup bodoh untuk menyerangnya ).

4. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris. 

5. Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with magnifying glass. At night ( Chuck Norris bisa membakar semut dengan kaca pembesar pada malam hari)

6. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage. 

7. A blind man bumped into Chuck Norris. The simple act of touching him cured the man's blindness. Unfortunately, the first and last thing the man saw was a fatal roundhouse kick to the face by Chuck Norris. 

8. When the boogeyman goes to bed, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris (saat boogeyman -semacam setan- mau tidur, dia ngecek kolongnya apakah ada Chuck Norris atau tidak) 

9. Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

10. Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life. 

11. Some magicians walk on the water, Chuck Norris can swim through land  (beberapa pesulap bisa jalan di atas air, Chuck Norris bisa berenang nembus tanah). 

12. Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime. (Dulu Chuck Norris pernah mengencingi tangki bensin truck cuma untuk lelucon, Truck itu sekarang dikenal sebagai Optimus Prime )

13. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes 

14. When Chuck Norris does a push up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. 

16. They once had a showing of Walker Texas Ranger in 3D. There where no survivors. (Mereka pernah menayangkan Walker Texas Ranger 3D. Dan penontonnya tidak ada yang selamat)    

17. Every time Chuck Norris looks into a mirror it breaks. Even glass is not stupid enough to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris. 

19. Chuck Norris wears sun glasses to protect the sun from his eyes. (Chuck Norris memakai kacamata item untuk melindungi matahari dari matanya)  

20. You have $5, Chuck Norris has $3. Chuck Norris has more money than you.

 21. Neil Armstrong was the first person to walk on the moon, Chuck Norris was the first person to walk on the sun. 

22. Chuck Norris once roundhoused kicked Hulk in the face. Now he hides in the forest and changed his name to Shrek. 

23. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list. (Jika ingin tahu daftar musuh2 Chuck Norris, lihat saja daftar spesies2 yang telah punah )

24. If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down 

25. Chuck Norris turns on a night light when he goes to bed. It's not because he's scared of the dark - it's Because the dark is scared of him. 

26. When girls have sex with god, they scream CHUCK NORRIS!! -dibalik, kan biasanya kalo ML cwek bilangnya "oh my god"-  

27. Aliens do exist. They're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack. 

28. Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull. 

29. The reason why pluto is no longer a planet is because Chuck Norris used it as a bowling ball. 

30. Chuck Norris woke up one day and decided he should share his knowledge with the world... Thus Google was born. 

31. buka google, matikan fitur pencarian otomatis, ketik 'find Chuck Norris', klik I'm feeling lucky, cobain deh :D

32. Chuck Norris can beat Halo 3 on Legendary level...with a guitar hero controller! 

33. The continents didn't drift away from each other, they just found out that chuck norris was gunna be on america so they all ran away. 

34. When God sneezes, people say Chuck Norris bless you 

35. Chuck Norris once went to Burger King and ordered a Big Mac...and got one. -padahal saingan berat :D-

36. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries

37. Chuck Norris welcomed Guns n' Roses to The Jungle    

38. Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby. First on Hiroshima, then on Nagasaki.     

39 . When Alexander Graham Bell invented telephone for the first time, he already had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris

40. Chuck Norris simply walks into mordor (bikinan gue nih!)

41.  Ghosts sit down in a campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories

42. Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice (Chuck Norris pernah berhitung sampai tak terhingga. dua kali) 

43. Shooting stars make a wish  when they see Chuck Norris

44. Chuck Norris doesn't turn on the lights. He turns off the dark.

45. Chuck Norris make onions cry 

 udah dulu yah, sebenernya banyak lagi jokes2 yang lucu2 tapi inilah yang paling lucu dari sekian banyak.. Chuck Norris FTW!